Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Charlotte County
"Ain't It Awful"
Rev. Sam Trumbore May 28th, 1995

Introductory Words

If you want to become a leader,
	you must learn to follow the great way.
Stop trying to control.
Let go of fixed plans and concepts,
	and the world will govern itself.

The more prohibitions you have,
	the less virtuous people will be.
The more weapons you have,
	the less secure people will be.
The more subsidies you have,
	the less self-reliant people will be.

Therefore the Master says:
I let go of the law,
	and people become honest.
I let go of economics,
	and people become prosperous.
I let go of religion,
	and people become serene.
I let go of all desire for the common good,
	 and the good becomes common as grass.
			From the Tao te Ching

Sermon

Selections from the Book of Job

Behold, God will not reject a blameless man,
	nor take the hand of evildoers.  (Job 9:20)

Yea, the light of the wicked is put out,
	and the flame of his fire does not shine.
The light is dark in his tent,
	and his lamp above him is put out.
His strong steps are shortened
	and his own schemes throw him down.
For he is cast into a net by his own feet,
	and he walks on a pitfall.
A trap seizes him by the heel,
	a snare lays hold of him. (Job 18:5-9)

Story (found by Phil)
	 about woman at seashore with grandson
	describe scene
	large wave - swept away child
	oh no!  how explain to ... ?
	Despairing prayer to God
	2nd wave brings him back
	Oh praise and thanks - but where is his hat?

Every Tuesday morning at 10:30am, I participate in our weekly open discussion called Conversation Among Friends. Conversation Among Friends, as you will read in your order of service in "upcoming events" is

"an open and spontaneous discussion group that meets every week. Topics range from current events, religion and philosophy to the Sunday Service, to events in friends and members lives. The conversation is moderated by Charles Miller."

Attendance ranges from under 10 this time of year to above 25 at the height of the season. When I began my ministry here, I quickly realized the unique opportunity the group presents for me to stay in touch with this congregation. Each week I hear a thoughtful response to the ideas I present on Sunday morning. I get ideas for sermon topics listening to people's interests and concerns. I find out who is sick or scheduled for an operation.

The quality of each meeting varies with the size of the group, the participants, and the topics brought for discussion. When I first became involved in the group, I purposely tried to listen and keep my mouth shut. To help me keep quiet, I would take notes during the conversation, trying to catch the vibrations of meaning as they tingled my ears. Going through my notes preparing for this sermon I found a few of the gems which I have heard I thought you might enjoy:

Betty Phillipoff often has wise words for us such as "Life is a constant process of adjustment - but it's not bad," or "I resist what society expects of me - that's why I'm a role model." Marge Gardiner will throw you a curve like, "I'm delighted to have nothing to look forward to." Bob Hansman often has something insightful to say like "You don't have to build an internal combustion engine to drive a car." Barney Jamison often has a pithy way to condense a conversation with something like, "The problem as I see it is a tremendous amount of information and no intelligence." Audrey will come up with a vivid image to describe the privatization of schools as "treating children as pieces of coal." Any social issue gets tested by Jim Whiton by putting it in the perspective of Coulton Avenue. And Nick Nichols, our professional listener, can be depended on to be attending carefully to everything that is said.

One never knows what will happen - which keeps things stimulating. Sometimes I'm restless with boredom, other times my mind, heart and emotions are completely engaged in the flow of thoughts, feelings and ideas. Sometimes one individual turns the conversation into a forum for their own agenda. Other times two people get into a debate which excludes the rest of us. Often we end with a bit of humor or a story sure to bring a smile. Overall, I'm grateful to Conversation Among Friends for helping me get to know so many of the people in our congregation and understand and appreciate each one better.

My topic for today, "ain't it awful", is the name of a conversational game that sometimes gets played on Tuesday morning. Someone raises a concern, a particular favorite is some negative reference to kids today. One of the easiest targets is teenage pregnancy, or the school system, or kids walking in the middle of the street ignoring cars or juvenile delinquency. The next speaker chimes in with a similar negative reference to poor parenting and teaching in the classroom. The next may change the topic to lack of support for public schools but the negative emotional tone continues. At each step the generalizing gets broader and broader. Soon the group has condemned the world's children to hell in a hand basket.

This behavior is hardly exclusive to Conversation Among Friends. Just about any conversation can turn to the ills of the world and all the participants can start pulling trash out of their pockets to heap on it. And there is no shortage of ain't-it-awful topics. The fundamentalists' grab for public power, the decline of public trust in their government, the endless struggle with racism, poverty, homelessness, crime, drug abuse, immigration, prayer in the schools, oppression of women, the arrogance of men and on and on.

An ain't-it-awful conversation is easy to spot by the we/they polarization. "We" see all the evil "they" are doing and are quite willing to pass judgment and condemn it. "They" are operating from self-serving principles and do not have the general well-being of the town, state, nation and/or world at heart. "We" on the other hand have perfect clarity of mind to pick apart their motivations and actions to show just how wrong they really are.

Much as many people enjoy playing this conversational game and feeling self-righteous, it is generally unsatisfying. Often a long round of ain't-it- awful will end with some whining spoilsport saying, "So what are you going to do about it?" The ain't-it-awful game isn't about doing anything - rather the game is a way to avoid it.

I quoted Job today because so many of the problems of human existence are intractable and out of our control. Yet our human inclination is to lay blame as a way to step back and disengage. Job's three so-called friends sit with him for seven days and seven nights in silence. It is not until Job laments, "Why me? For the thing that I fear comes upon me, and what I dread befalls me. I am not at ease, nor am I quiet; I have no rest; but trouble comes." When they hear Job ask why, his friends are eager to tell him the error of his ways.

Without a doubt there is much that is wrong with human existence. There is great pain in dealing with the unfairness of life. The just suffer wrong and the unjust get away scot-free. Job's cry of anguish at the weight of his burdens, is the cry of all of us. And Job's three friends speaking with a tone of condemnation are voices many of us have spoken and have heard heaped upon us in our time of trouble.

The ain't-it-awful gambit is a move to defend oneself from the misery of the many. The ever greater magnitude of worldly suffering can create an oppressive hopelessness. For many of us, the insoluble problems of our children are more than enough to occupy our energies let alone the rest of the world. Indeed, we can struggle with all our might to bring some healing to one area of existence just as another gets worse. It is tempting to want to wall oneself off from the need and condemn the needy as unworthy of our aid.

And after all, haven't we done our part? Didn't we defeat the Nazi aggression and rebuild the world, making it safe for democracy? We're retired now, let the next generation solve these problems while we enjoy our reward for a lifetime of hard work. It's time for us to sit back and give advice, dispensing our pearls of wisdom.

As one's energy declines, one's health diminishes, one's sense's dim, a new generation takes the reigns with different ideas and values. The enormous amount of grief President Clinton has received in part has to do with his age, being the first baby boomer to become president.

Part of the ain't-it-awful game is the defense against our complicity in the ills of the world. We bash big sugar corporations and their subsidies but turn around and consume large amounts of sugar. We complain about high taxes but defend our pet government pork barrel project to the hilt. We blame welfare mothers for not raising their children like good model middle class citizens without offering the resources to make this possible.

In reality, the pain is truly unbearable, until the resistance stops. The resistance to the fact of the way things are, prevents the ability to respond to the way things are. Many people who are mugged are aware that they are threatened, but do nothing to respond to the situation. If one has a puncture wound to the arm or leg and resists acknowledging the severity of the injury, he risks infection, gangrene, and even the loss of the limb. Ignoring public health problems such as tuberculosis and AIDS puts everyone at risk. Standing back from the problems of the inner city poverty helps create the social alienation of our underclass, contributing to the destruction of life and property.

As we stop resisting, there may be an intensification of the pain. But if we stay with it, joining with the suffering to move toward solutions, assisting others by sharing our attention, wealth, opportunities and power, we ease our own pain as we help others. This is the great truth from Asia of Karma. What we turn away from will return to haunt us. We cannot separate their pain from ours. Not until the "they" becomes "we", not until we surrender our pride, our judgment, and our separation can the healing begin.

There is nothing unique about our age. The world as we know it has been facing the end times again and again. Scholars agree that the core teaching of Jesus was that the Kingdom of God was at hand. And he didn't mean several hundred years from now, he meant now - so get your spiritual house in order. Archeologists find the wreckage of past civilizations heaped upon each other. Many religious traditions have apocalyptic dimensions.

Yes, things are going to get worse. And they are going to get better. Both will be happening all the time. The young will always question, and test their elders teaching. The young must eventually go their own way to adapt in a fast changing world. Populations will expand to the limits of their resources then contract as they are overextended. It is unlikely we will be able to make this planet uninhabitable for all life, but is likely our actions will bring great suffering and loss of life to human beings. And then evolution will take a new turn. We aren't done yet!

What matters tremendously now is not that we have the answers, because we don't, but rather that we be part of the answer by being willing to engage with the problems of today as much as possible, given each of our limits and resources. People in their 80's can't do what people in their 30's can do. But all of us can vote. All of us can keep informed about what is happening in our community, our state, and our government. All of us can write letters to the editor, letters to our representatives. This matters too.

And when we discuss the problems of the world, I encourage us to incline toward rather than away, incline toward action and involvement rather than resistance and reaction, incline toward feeling with and compassion for rather than dehumanization and rejection. The religious enterprise is about growing a bigger heart and expanding our caring. The ain't-it-awful game doesn't help in this growth of the soul, rather it shrivels the heart into a little dry nut. For judgment without love and compassion is meaningless.

I close with excerpts from God's response to Job's lament. It is a humbling response. Humility before the complexity and vastness of the problems of the world is helpful to keep things all in perspective. You might imagine this as the divine response to a round of ain't-it-awful.


Who is it darkens counsel by words without knowledge?
...
Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?
Tell me, if you have understanding.
Who determined its measurement - surely you know!
	Or who stretched the line upon it?
On what were its bases sunk, or who laid its cornerstone,
	when the morning stars sang together,
	and all the sons and daughters of God shouted for joy?

Or who shut in the sea with doors,
	when it burst forth from the womb;
	when I made clouds its garment,
	and thick darkness its swaddling band,
...
Have you commanded the morning since your days began,
	and caused the dawn to know its place,
...
Have you entered into the springs of the sea,
	or walked in the recesses of the deep?
Have the gates of death been revealed to you,
	or have you seen the gates of deep darkness?

We are small and our understanding is tiny before the vastness of existence. We have tread such a short time upon the face of this earth. We all have too much more to learn than will ever permit us to sit in judgment of each other and creation.

So next time you hear an ain't-it-awful conversation cranking up, you may wish to respond, "Judge not lest ye be judged!"

SO BE IT.

Copyright (c) 1995 by Rev. Samuel A. Trumbore, All Rights Reserved.